Lead Yourself

Lover, Magician, Warrior, Soverign King

Jeffrey Carver’s first experience with men’s work:

As I I prepared for the last week before stepping into the unknown, meeting my edges was something I hadn’t realized that was a innate part of my human design. Alcohol flooded my system as I fought the disregulation in my core.

I was at rock bottom. Loosing the first true woman I had been with, cheated on her in my escaping my own shadows that were being reflected so beautifully.

I had never been called forward by the divine as I was in that space. And at the same time my tail was tucked between my legs, how do I rise to this level of KINGdom. Am I man enough?

I drank 9 days straight going into my first sacred sons  experinece. I new I had ran from my shadows for to long, carrying my fatherhood wounds into my relationship.  I was exhuasted, lost, alone, and drunk in my sorrow n highs.

During those 4 days, I released masks and old stories that had been holding me back from my authentic self. Feeling this safety and prayer I’ve been asking for but never realized it would come true. Community. All of me is welcome. As safety and community rain through me, I was asked “ Whats one thing you can change right now that would align you with your vision?”

“Stop drinking” range through my core as my vessel was open, armor laid down, knowing the men beside be could hold me in my vulnerability, hold me accountable and in this space I gained the courage to commit to stop drinking for a month. I am to this date 3 1/2 years sober from alcohol.

This story is not about sobriety. Its about getting curious with what feels like a “edge”, what feels like a crutch, a shadow aspect in your life stagnating your vision of excellence.

As the buffalo I call your spirit forward, to face the storm and head directly into it. to not turn away from our shadows, knowing your brothers are facing there fears as well next to you.